Thanksgiving Operations Order

OPORD 11-26-21 (OPERATION TURKEY DAY) (U)

SITUATION. Thanksgiving holiday necessitates high intake of Class I items
Terrain and weather: White and drifted snow; biting wind

MISSION. Your unit moves to Grandmother’s House IOT complete Pumpkin Pie consumption operations

EXECUTION.
Scheme of Movement and Maneuver: Over the river and through the wood
Coordinating instructions: The horse knows the way

SUSTAINMENT. Ensure spare parts on hand for sleigh

COMMAND & SIGNAL. Bells ring “ting-a-ling”
//S//
ANGRY STAFF OFFICER

FRAGORD 1 to OPORD 11-26-21 (OPERATION TURKEY DAY) (U)

SITUATION.
Enemy. COVID-19
MLCOA. Will try to kill grandma and grandpa
MDCOA. Will try to kill grandma, grandpa, your whole family, and everyone you love

MISSION. Your unit stays TF home until COVID-19 is no longer a threat IOT keep grandma alive

EXECUTION. Remain on FT COUCH until such time as enemy is defeated, then begin hug operations for your whole family

SUSTAINMENT: Emergency resupply of extra CL VI is authorized

COMMAND AND SIGNAL. All emails from higher will be seen as a threat and deleted
//S// ANGRY STAFF OFFICER

Happy Thanksgiving, and stay safe out there