The Gettysburg Address – the Donald Trump Version

The Gettysburg Address, as it might have been delivered by Donald Trump. You're welcome. It was a long time ago – I don’t think anyone can even remember, but I can remember, I have a great memory, I’ve got the best memory ever. These guys, they made the most special thing, really, really special. Where …

Give Thanks for What?

At tables all across the United States, families will be gathering to share a meal heavy on starch, alcohol, and awkward conversation. Inevitably, someone will look around the table and suggest that everyone go around and offer one thing that they’re thankful for, which will cause a chain reaction of people reaching for the wine …

If U.S. Wars were Arrested Development Characters

Let's be honest, we all watch far too much television. In the old days, when our ancestors had no electricity and far too many brain cells, they occupied their time by reading silly things like the Iliad and other such classics. Because of this, they were able to associate current events with Classical literature, forming …

Drunken Disaster at Harper’s Ferry

On the morning of September 15, 1862, the fate of the Civil War was held in the hands of Union Brigadier General Dixon S. Miles. Those hands were probably shaking slightly that morning, although not from fear, but from the delirium tremens. You see, Miles was a drunk.  A graduate of West Point, Miles had not done his …

Remembering the Civil War: Or Forgetting It

April 9th marked the 150th anniversary of Robert E. Lee's surrender of his Army of Northern Virginia to Ulysses S. Grant’s combined Army of the Potomac and Army of the James.  This is fact that we can all agree on regarding the events at Appomattox Court House.  And that’s about it.  Southerners believe that Appomattox should …

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