5 Ways the Military is an Absurdist Organization

Most people think of the military as a no-nonsense place, where everyone is filled with rigid discipline and chock-full of common sense. And while that might be the image that we often like to have portrayed of ourselves, there's a lot more that goes on that would definitely elicit a few, "WTFs" if they were …

How “Scrubs” Characters are Basically Your Military Unit

Sure, at first glance, you wouldn't think that a TV show about a doctors, nurses, and a crazy janitor at teaching hospital would have anything to do with the military. However, both the military and the medical professions have a lot in common: life and death decisions, long periods of boredom punctuated with brief moments …

Stormtrooper Safety Brief

Scene: Stormtrooper barracks in Nevarro City, as seen in "The Mandalorian." Sergeant TK-7831 walks in to address his squad. TK-7831: "Quiet down, this is an Imperial facility, not a Bantha-breeding ground." TK-9938: "Wait, how would you know what that is, sergeant?" TK-7831: "When you've been wearing armor as long as I have - wait, shut …

Russian Military to Occupy Baltics to Prevent COVID-19 Infections

Author's Note: This is a satirical article meant to highlight the absurdity of Russia’s reportedly low COVID-19 infection rate and it’s continued use of hybrid warfare in conflicts with its neighbors. After a frenzied 24 hours of military activity, President Vladimir Putin announced that the Russian military has sent assistance to the Baltic countries of …

A Letter Home from the Civil War on Christmas

December 24, 1863 Somewhere south of the North Pole My Dearest Hannah, This latest march has been our longest yet. We left northern Virginia in September, marches of 20 or 30 miles, worse than Gettysburg. I'm sure you have heard that we have been betrayed by the Northern Spheres - how our brave Lincoln calmly …

Rebel Safety Brief on Hoth

Scene: Squad bay, Rebel Alliance, Hoth. The First Sergeant stands up: “Okay, listen up, quiet down. I said quiet down, you lot! Louder than a Bantha breeding barn in here. Just because we’re Rebels doesn’t mean we can’t have discipline. Now, because of recent...incidents around Echo Base, we’ve been directed to give a good safety …

Army Branch Songs: Where Did They Come From?

Just recently, the National Guard Bureau (NGB) released the news that it now had its own official song! Now, this was not something that the Soldiers and Airmen of the National Guard had ever asked for, or even desired, but like most things coming out of NGB, we got it anyways. And, like most things …

Thanksgiving Safety Brief

Ok, listen up. Yeah, I know, this is what's standing in between you and your freedom, but the tips laid out here could save your life. First off, don't drink and drive. That's just basic. Watch out for slips, trips, and falls. Next, if you get stuck between your violently right wing uncle and your …