Stormtrooper Safety Brief

Scene: Stormtrooper barracks in Nevarro City, as seen in "The Mandalorian." Sergeant TK-7831 walks in to address his squad. TK-7831: "Quiet down, this is an Imperial facility, not a Bantha-breeding ground." TK-9938: "Wait, how would you know what that is, sergeant?" TK-7831: "When you've been wearing armor as long as I have - wait, shut …

Russian Military to Occupy Baltics to Prevent COVID-19 Infections

Author's Note: This is a satirical article meant to highlight the absurdity of Russia’s reportedly low COVID-19 infection rate and it’s continued use of hybrid warfare in conflicts with its neighbors. After a frenzied 24 hours of military activity, President Vladimir Putin announced that the Russian military has sent assistance to the Baltic countries of …

A Letter Home from the Civil War on Christmas

December 24, 1863 Somewhere south of the North Pole My Dearest Hannah, This latest march has been our longest yet. We left northern Virginia in September, marches of 20 or 30 miles, worse than Gettysburg. I'm sure you have heard that we have been betrayed by the Northern Spheres - how our brave Lincoln calmly …

Rebel Safety Brief on Hoth

Scene: Squad bay, Rebel Alliance, Hoth. The First Sergeant stands up: “Okay, listen up, quiet down. I said quiet down, you lot! Louder than a Bantha breeding barn in here. Just because we’re Rebels doesn’t mean we can’t have discipline. Now, because of recent...incidents around Echo Base, we’ve been directed to give a good safety …

Army Branch Songs: Where Did They Come From?

Just recently, the National Guard Bureau (NGB) released the news that it now had its own official song! Now, this was not something that the Soldiers and Airmen of the National Guard had ever asked for, or even desired, but like most things coming out of NGB, we got it anyways. And, like most things …

Thanksgiving Safety Brief

Ok, listen up. Yeah, I know, this is what's standing in between you and your freedom, but the tips laid out here could save your life. First off, don't drink and drive. That's just basic. Watch out for slips, trips, and falls. Next, if you get stuck between your violently right wing uncle and your …

If Military Commissioning Sources were Hogwarts Houses

Okay, so can we all admit that as military officers, we’re actually just another category of gigantic nerds? I mean, military society itself can basically be broken down as a cosplaying socialist death cult, but that’s another story. Suffice it to say, the officer corps contains its own special levels of nerdiness. This is to …

Cake and Perfidy: the 1968 Soviet Invasion of Czechoslovakia

By Sasha Maggio A classmate commented on my post for the week, and the post was largely on SIGINT but in one part I make a tiny little comment about how sometimes things like radio could be used to broadcast narratives to particular “target audiences” like how the Soviet Union used it to garner public …

The Military “Give a S**t” Spectrum

Let’s face it: the Army can be a place that wears you down, both physically and mentally. It takes a special kind of person to be able to take the brand of crazy that the Army pushes year after year and walk away from it relatively unscathed. As such, it seems like you usually get …