Neither Sense nor Sensibility: A Weekend Safety Brief from Jane Austen

Note: This post originally appeared in the Duffel Blog. It has been somewhat modified from its original version. It is presented here with all due apologies to poor Jane Austen, who has done nothing to deserve this. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single Company in possession of a good four day pass, …

Stormtrooper Safety Brief

Scene: Stormtrooper barracks in Nevarro City, as seen in "The Mandalorian." Sergeant TK-7831 walks in to address his squad. TK-7831: "Quiet down, this is an Imperial facility, not a Bantha-breeding ground." TK-9938: "Wait, how would you know what that is, sergeant?" TK-7831: "When you've been wearing armor as long as I have - wait, shut …

Rebel Safety Brief on Hoth

Scene: Squad bay, Rebel Alliance, Hoth. The First Sergeant stands up: โ€œOkay, listen up, quiet down. I said quiet down, you lot! Louder than a Bantha breeding barn in here. Just because weโ€™re Rebels doesnโ€™t mean we canโ€™t have discipline. Now, because of recent...incidents around Echo Base, weโ€™ve been directed to give a good safety …

Thanksgiving Safety Brief

Ok, listen up. Yeah, I know, this is what's standing in between you and your freedom, but the tips laid out here could save your life. First off, don't drink and drive. That's just basic. Watch out for slips, trips, and falls. Next, if you get stuck between your violently right wing uncle and your …